Long post alert, because it's ben a while. Also I ramble a lot in this one, so sorry in advance.  I just have a lot to say.

Some updates from the last couple weeks in Antigua:

• The police were called with a complaint about us setting up hammocks in a public park, which we had absolutely no idea was prohibited, so now we’re wanted in Guatemala (hope mom and dad are proud).  I also fell out of said hammock.  So now it is safely tucked away in my suitcase until I get to Honduras.

Just showing the people what they want to see

• I experience a taste of Honduras with a weekend trip to Copán to see some Mayan ruins and swim in hot springs in the middle of the jungle (casual). In my 24 hours there I met some of the most helpful and friendly people I cross in my travels. I get to live there in less than two weeks!

• I celebrated independence day for Central America, which was a party that went on for days.  There were parades for about three days and on the actual day of independence, the 15th, the parade literally went on all day long. I only lasted about 2 hours at a time. I didn’t know there could possibly be that many school bands in Antigua, but it just never stopped. Something else that never stopped were the fireworks, which kind of just sound like bombs so that took some getting used to. They started at about 5:30 in the morning of Independence Day.



Typical Antigua.  Parade, the famous arch,

and a volcano in the background.

• We all attended the confirmation of my Spanish teacher’s son.  I was so touched to be a part of such a special day for that family.  That being said, everyone here is extremely welcoming.  Our spanish school’s motto is “Mi casa es tu casa” which we hear all the time. Spanish and English speakers alike know this phrase but it is embraced here like I just have not experienced before. Emilia, my spanish teacher has had students before me, and will have students after me, but in my time here, she has welcomed me here, looked out for me, brought me into her home, and loved me.  Not only because she is such a caring person herself, but because that is the way of life here. Another example is my host mom, Chiky. She actually calls me and Cassie “hijas” which just makes my heart melt.

Lastly, I have been reflecting on this since being here in Antigua, where the sacraments are just so available.  There are churches everywhere with multiple daily masses a day, and I feel like most of the time you could find a priest to confess to.  There is also a 24 adoration chapel about three blocks from my house.

The thought of doing a year of mission work is very different from what I am experiencing here in Central America so far.  In the past, my faith has always had ups and downs.  I go on a mission trip or to a Catholic conference, and I am on a high.  After a while I come down from that high and fall into a rut.  And that has been my pattern.

Something that excited me about going on mission is that I might finally get out of that pattern.  I might not fall into those ruts anymore, and ideally I would stay on a spiritual high long term.  But what I have learned instead has been far more profound and humbling than the satisfaction of feeling the presence of God.

Feeling that presence is amazing, and something I think we all want.  It is comforting to feel God's presence in my life.  But if I don't get that warm fuzzy feeling, if I don't feel comforted, does that mean that the Holy Spirit is not working in my heart? Absolutely not.  God is always there.

I often think about Saint Theresa of Calcutta.  She struggled with doubt, spiritual darkness and dry prayer for years.  But I do not have a doubt in my mind that the Holy Spirit was moving within her, and that the Lord was using her to do his work.  Just like all of us are called to be instruments of the Lord.

No matter what we feel or don't feel, we must always seek the Lord, knowing that he is waiting with open arms.  And trust me I'm someone with A LOT of feelings.  Feelings are great.  But what is even better is truth.  And what I know to be true is that God is guiding me.

You don't have to have a turning point, one big moment, some kind of revelation.  You don't have to throw your hands up in the air, burst into tears, not everyone has a dramatic story with a big moment to tell.  Those moments are great.  But ultimately what we are called to do is seek the Lord.

So pray, seek the sacraments, go to mass and confession, go to adoration.  So you might not get that Jesus high that you may be after.  That's okay, because the Lord delights in knowing you.  And no matter what you feel, God has you in his hands, and you're safe with him.

This coming weekend, we’re taking a trip to Lago de Atitlán where we get to go to Father Stanley Rother’s mission in Santiago Atitlán on the day of his beatification! If you don’t know his story check it out here because my next post is going to include some of my experiences there.  Until next time!

Paz y bien,

Cat