What a wild ride the last two months has been! If you read my last post, I mentioned how God laughs when you make plans. Gosh, I must crack God up. Just weeks ago, I would have told you that we were still waiting on news from the Finca, and as soon as we got the go-ahead, I would be hopping on a plane back to Honduras. And I really thought that.
But when I received that go-ahead, my feelings did not match those thoughts and I was suddenly not so sure that I still wanted to go back. Not because I had any problems at the Finca, because I loved it there. My missionary community, the kids, the work we did, everything filled my heart with so much joy. So why was I feeling this way when I knew we could finally go back?
Something was telling me that I needed to consider staying. Through lots of prayers, lots of talks with loved ones, and lots of tears, I really struggled with what I should do. I love the Finca, and I love those kids more than I thought possible. I do not doubt for a second that being there for that short time was all God's will, but He brought me home unexpectedly, in such seemingly random circumstances, that I needed to intentionally pray and think about why I was brought back to the States in the first place.
Throughout this discernment, I started substituting at St. Charles Borromeo Catholic School here in Oklahoma City. I started falling in love with those kids and the community that exists there. I continued to feel this pull to stay where I was and it was getting stronger. So I made my decision to stay in the States, and wow did the Lord provide. I was offered (and accepted) a long term substitute teaching position in second grade during the current school year and the full time second grade teaching position for the 2018-2019 school year at St. Charles.
Of course a piece of my heart will always lie in my querido Trujillo, Honduras, but I have so much peace in my heart for so many reasons. I am close to my family here and I get to continue doing what I love. Most importantly, I am not saying "no" to Honduras, but I am continuing my "yes." The same yes that got me to the Finca in the first place is what got me to this point now. It is that yes that will take me into the next chapters of my life and it is that same yes that gets us to heaven. That yes is a yes to God's confusing, difficult, exciting, and beautiful plan.
